Bestfriend's Love
by chibi-chan100
Summary: Among your friends, I care for you the most...Among your friends, I love you the most...Among your friends, you hurt me the most...cause I know that all I am to you is..."Among your Friends..."
1. The Truth in My Lie

A/N: This is my first ever angst fic! So please be nice, and tell me what you think about it.   
  
Tittle: "Bestfriend's Love"  
  
By: chibi-chan  
  
Chapter 1: The Truth in My Lie  
  
Disclamer: I don't own any of the Inuyasha cast! They belong to Rumiko Takahashi!  
  
"We're just friends."  
  
Yes, that's always the line I use, although it is getting old. A lie is what it is. Day after day, living within that lie. . . trying to convince myself that it was true. Telling myself that we are JUST friends. . . nothing else. . . nothing. But then why? Why can't I be satisfied that I am already convinced? Maybe. . .maybe. . . maybe because I never believed it in the first place. . . maybe I'm just too stubborn to listen. . . maybe I want to make that lie into another lie. . . maybe. . .just maybe. . . I just want him to love me. . .just as I love him. . .  
  
Why can't he love me? Yes, that's also the question I asked myself one time, and yet, it was answered by the same person in my questioning mind. . .him. . . I'll never forget that day. . .ever. . .It answered my questions. . . It lightened my thoughts. But most of all. . .it broke my hopes. . .as well as my heart. . .  
  
We were in the cafeteria one morning, loafing around as usual. . .eating and talking just like normal bestfriends should. That's when I asked him.  
  
"Ne, Inu-chan. My friend has this problem, you see. . .she has a big crush on this guy. The only problem is he's her bestfriend. What should she do?"  
  
"Hmm. . .she should just forget it!"  
  
"Huh?!? Why?"  
  
"They're bestfriends right?"  
  
"Um. . .yeah!"  
  
"Bestfriends are never meant to become a couple. They will always stay as friends!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah! Bestfriends are bestfriends, not girlfriend and boyfriend. Both are completely different!"  
  
"Oh. . .Souka."  
  
He said that, not knowing how much his answer meant to me. But I guess, it has always been like that. Men are insensitive after all. They never realize the value of someone or something until they finally lose it. . . At that time, I wanted so much to cry. . .cry until the pain in my chest would fade. But I didn't. . .I wouldn't. . .not in front of him. . .ever. . .  
  
After knowing that stated fact, I still didn't give up. . .I couldn't give up. . .Because. . .because I had already gone this far. . .Even before that day, I was already hoping that I would have a chance. . .hoping even if it would take forever. . . hoping even if he already got a girlfriend. . .hoping that one day he'll also see me. . .not only as a friend. . .but more than that. . .more than that. . .  
  
But he didn't. . .our relationship stayed just like that. . .Bestfriends. . .I know I should already be happy that he's even my bestfriend.  
  
Why? Because, it was even a wonder he became my bestfriend. I mean, he's a guy, yes. But it's not that. . .Not because he was a guy. . .but because he was the "bad boy type." He repeated a grade due to his antics. . .even got in jail for it. . .he was also involved in gangs. . . Besides, he's very popular unlike me.  
  
Some people feared him, but that didn't stop him from the girls. In fact, many girls adored him. Maybe it was his "bad boy" charm at work.  
  
Hey, don't get me wrong here! I'm not like those girls! I liked him because inside his fearsome exterior lied a gentle, sweet and caring person. . .even if he doesn't show it much. . . And that's why I have fallen for him. . .that's why I hoped endlessly. . .because aside from his girlfriend, he only shows it to me. . .that's why I thought that somehow, someday he'll love me too. . .someday. . .for sure. . .  
  
But I was wrong. . .because. . .that dream will only happen in just a dream. . .never in real life. . .never. . .  
  
One time, my friend sent me a text message. . .a quote. . . my friends and I are always like that. . .sending endless quotes to each other. . .it read:  
  
You may not see me, the way I see you; You may not care for me, the way I care for you; You may not feel anything, even if I feel so much for you; You may never learn to love me, but I'll be there loving you. . .  
  
At that point, I almost cried again. . . It was so painful. . .I can't believe just how much that simple, innocent quote, became the revelation of what I felt. . .  
  
Instead of deleting it from my inbox, I saved it. . .realizing that even if I couldn't tell him what I feel, I will always have a reminder of my feelings. . .a reminder of the truth. . .a reminder that I made a lie into another lie. . .  
  
A/N: So what do you think? Please review! Review! Comments, suggestions, questions are always welcome!!!  
  
chibi-chan 


	2. My Life, A Dreaded Cycle

-A/N: Hello minna-san! I would just like to thank the following for reviewing my story!  
  
PenPusherM: Yes! I see it too! In fact, he's always been the one saying that line, and always been denying when someone teases the both of them. As you'll soon see in the next chapters! Thank you for reviewing!   
  
InuyashaKogaRULZ: I'm glad that you've really enjoyed it! I hope you'll continue reading! By the way, thank you very much for reviewing, not only in this story, but also in all my stories! I greatly appreciate it! Arigatou-gozaimasu!!!  
  
Mystic Hanyou: No, this is not a one-shot story! In fact, I have many more ideas in mind for this story. As to your other question, I am not so sure yet! I'm not really sure for the pairing in this story. Whether it will be a Sess/Kag or Inu/Kag.  
  
So, that's it! Could you guys tell me what could be a better pairing? Sess/Kag or Inu/Kag? Well, on with the story! Chapter Two, My Life: A Dreaded Cycle.-

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Tittle: "Bestfriend's Love"  
  
By: chibi-chan  
  
Chapter 2: My Life, A Dreaded Cycle  
  
Disclamer: I do not own anything! Not Inuyasha or any its cast!!!

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-Here I am hoping you'll see me. . .see me more than a friend. . .see me as a person you can love. . . but you can't. . .you didn't. . .you won't. . .-  
  
Morning, the start of another day. . .how I hate it. . .dreaded it. . .because. . .because I would again take part of my life living in a lie. . .live in such a daily, practiced routine. . .Go to school, meet my friends, study, learn, meet him, make my lie look like a truth, then go home. . .pained, broken and still hoping.  
  
It was stupid. . .wasting everyday of my life, waiting and hoping for my wish, even if I know it would never come true. . . But still, I got up, finally starting the dreaded cycle. I bathed for a half-hour and then clothed myself in my school uniform. I looked at the full-length view mirror, surveying myself.  
  
'Am I not good enough? Not pretty enough? Not enough? They tell me I'm beautiful. . .then why can't I feel that way? I feel like I'm the ugliest person on earth. . .Then why? Why can't I just feel content? Why can't I feel complete? Why? Maybe. . .maybe. . .I AM not complete. . .without him. . .without him. . .I feel incompetent. . .I feel broken. . .  
  
I sighed, and stopped the upcoming nonsense going in my head, because I'd be late for school. I walked out of my room and went downstairs. As usual, there was no one. . .no one to greet me. . .no one to say "Good Morning" to me. . .no one. . .  
  
Mom always get up early for work, Ojiichan is often at the hospital due to his sickness and old age. Souta at the meantime, always manages to go to school earlier than me. . .alone. . .I'm always alone. . .but I don't mind it anymore. . .In fact, I think it was better this way. . .much better. . .at least, I won't have to wear my fake and cheerful mask. . .at least, I was spared from acting my deceitful ways. . .even if it was just here. . .or should I say, only up to here. . .  
  
I then proceeded to go to school. . .walking on the same streets, thinking the same thoughts, and dreading the same things. Finally, I arrive at school. Students were already filling inside. As I walked into the gates, my heart flopped. There, I saw him. . .talking to his girlfriend, Kikyo. . .Kikyo. . .I wonder what it's like to be Kikyo. . .to be his girlfriend. . .even just once. . .I wish even just once. . .even just one day. . .I'd like to know what it feels to be in her place. . .just once. . .  
  
Kikyo. . .many people say that we look exactly alike. . .twins even. . .but I disagree on that. . .For me, we're the opposite. How do we look alike anyway? She has perfectly straight and tamed hair, a perfect pale skin, a gorgeous body. . .While I. . .I have long and wild hair, an uneven complexion, and heck! My body never even came close to the word 'gorgeous!'  
  
Besides, she's popular, has many influential friends and guys adore her. I could never be like that. . .I'm always the 'girl-next-door type' or maybe the 'one-of-the-boys type.' I could never be like her. . .never. . .  
  
I stood there and watched them for sometime. I could see him smiling sheepishly at her while they talk. . .I wonder. . .could he also smile like that for me. . .I did not have the time to answer that question, because I then realized, that he was already saying his goodbyes to her. . .I collected myself from my stupor and slowly walked toward the school. . .I don't really like him to know that I was watching them. . .As I was about to reach my destination, I heard it. . .I heard him. . .calling me. . .  
  
"Yo, Kag-chan! Ohayo!"  
  
"Uh. . .Hello, Inu-chan! Ohayo!" I replied in a practiced, flawless routine. I was again putting up my mask. . .my mask of deceit for him. . .just for him. . .  
  
"You want to go to the cafeteria or something before classes start?" he asked me.  
  
"Hmmm. . ." I said, trying to fake that I was seriously thinking about it. . .Even if I would be going anyway. . .Anything for him. . .anything. . . "But classes will start soon an I'll be late again! This will be the fifth time this month you know!" I protested.  
  
"Who cares?!? I already got eight tardiness in total this month! Besides, that's the fun part of it! We'll only be late for homeroom anyway!" he gruffly stated.  
  
"Hmm. . .Only if you treat me!"  
  
"Nani!?! I just treated you last time!"  
  
"Check you brain again stupid! I treated you last time!"  
  
"Okay! Okay! I'll treat you already! But you'd better treat me next time!" he give in.  
  
"Don't I always?" I innocently replied as we headed together for the cafeteria.  
  
As we arrived at our destined place, I sat on a chair, while my bag occupied a part of our table. He at the meantime, merely plopped his bag on his chair and then took out his wallet.  
  
"So, what would you like?" he asked me.  
  
"Anything you'll get. . .only make mine large!" I replied.  
  
"Large?!? You are sooo greedy when it comes to eating you know! And I do mean greedy!"  
  
"As if you're not also like that! Besides, we're not eating! You only buy drinks anyway in the morning!" I jubilantly proclaimed.  
  
He didn't answered me anymore, instead he huffed off to buy our drinks, finally surrendering to defeat. After sometime, he returned carrying our orders.  
  
"Here!" he said, as he handed me my 'so-called-large' drink.  
  
"Hey! Where's my straw?"  
  
"Go get it yourself!"  
  
"Hidoi!" I said, faking that I was hurt. "How could you say that to your own bestfriend?" I again stated, knowingly he'll soon give in.  
  
"Hai! Hai!" he replied as he stood up to get it.  
  
"Here you go, madam!" he said in a sarcastic tone.  
  
"Thanks Inu-chan! You're the greatest!"  
  
"Feh!"  
  
I slowly slurped my drink, before asking him.  
  
"So, Inu-chan. How are you and Kikyo doing?"  
  
"Oh, we're fine I guess. . .sometimes having arguments. . .but we patch up easily. . .But you know what, I think she doesn't love me anymore. . ."  
  
"Huh? Why do you say that?"  
  
"Um. . .I don't know, but it feels like she's neglecting me lately. . .like she doesn't have time for me anymore."  
  
"What are you saying? Maybe she's busy or something. . .With the school activities coming up, it certainly will be hectic for us all. . .so you never know!"  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"I'm sure so! She wouldn't think of leaving you for even a minute! So, stop worrying already! She'll never do that!"  
  
'At least, I won't'  
  
"I guess so. . .Thanks Kag-chan!"  
  
"Sure thing!"  
  
We passed our time, talking an finishing off our drinks, when the bell rang. We hurriedly run off to our respective classes, knowing to well that we were already in trouble. Before I parted off to my way, I called him.  
  
"Oh, Inu-chan thanks for the drink!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah!"  
  
"Well, bai bai!"  
  
"uhm. . .Ja ne!"  
  
I ran off until he was out of my sight, and just merely walked down the school hallways. Alone, I let go off my mendacious mask and returned to my normal, pained and troubled self.  
  
I knew it hurt so much when I assured Inuyasha on the Kikyo problem. But I just can't sit there doing nothing, while I see him hurting and suffering. . .I AM his bestfriend after all. So no matter what it takes. . .I'd do anything to make him happy. . .anything. . .just for him. . .

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-A/N: Please tell me what you think! Review! Review! Comments, suggestions and questions are always welcome! Oh, by the way, please tell me the pairing you'd like to see here! Arigatou! Until then, Ja ne!  
  
chibi-chan 


End file.
